Notes From Reb: IVF So far

I woke up this morning in a little bit of a panic. If you follow me on Instagram and stories you know that I have been sharing our IVF journey thus far in pretty explicit detail. This morning, however, I woke up thinking: what if this doesn’t work? What if we don’t get pregnant this first time around? What am I gonna tell my followers? But after a quick meditation, I realized is that I need to continue taking one day at a time.

Since we decided to go forward with IVF, I have told everyone (including myself) that I am just taking things one day at a time. It’s all we can afford to do at this point. Thinking about the what if‘s is not going to help my emotional state from day to day. And, naturally, my emotional state effects me physically, and right now I need my body to be healthy as I’m growing these eggs.

{ I am currently 7 days into the egg stimulation process – which, for me, means one injection in the morning and two at night with bloodwork + ultrasound monitoring every other day. }

So, knowing that, this blog post is probably going to be a bit jumbled I just wanted to say some things on here before I forget. Honestly, I have so much to say, but for now I’ll try to keep it short-ish and as sweet as I can 🙂

DON’T BE SCARED TO LOOK FOR ANSWERS —

Whether you have been trying to conceive (TTC) for a few months, a few years, are approaching the age of 35 (eye roll at 35 being “geriatric) or are just starting the journey, don’t be afraid to look for answers. It took us two years of TTC before we looked for help. That was two years of seeing everyone around me get pregnant and have babies. Two years of heartbreak. Month after month of quietly struggling every time I got my period. But, I was straight up nervous, or scared about what we would find out if we looked for answers. If you are trying to get pregnant and it’s not happening for you and you’re doing everything right (tracking your cycle, testing ovulation), I urge you to try to figure out what is going on. We were lucky to find the answer pretty quickly, and I know not everyone is as lucky, but I encourage you to take the first step. My advice is to have the male partner’s sample tested first, because it is much cheaper & less invasive than what we as women have to go through. Then, go from there.

YOU DO YOU —

Your journey is your own. Every single one is different. You and your partner should do what is best for you. You can read every blog post like this, follow all kinds of fertility specialists, talk to friends of friends and get advice from your loved ones, but at the end of the day, you have to do what feels right for you. For example, we had a pretty jam packed summer, and even though we knew back in May that we would likely do IVF, we wanted to wait until the summer was over to start treatments. It felt selfish at the time, and a few people made off handed comments wondering why we would wait when we had already waited so long but the answer was simply: that’s what we wanted to do. I wanted to go to Vegas, drink aperol spritzes with my friends, enjoy the fact that my favorite bars were back open, and John wanted his lazy summer without teaching. It is just what worked for us. Feel free to hear out any and all advice, but at the end of the day make your own decisions.

COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER —

Like the above two, this one is as much a reminder for me as it is for you. Infertility struggles of any kind are hard on both partners. It is SO important to keep the communication open throughout the whole process, or you’ll end up miserable, stressed and eventually it’ll all bubble over into a big blow out. For us, we were so busy this summer in the best way and when it came time to all of sudden buckle down, start doc appointments and get ready for meds, we weren’t exactly ready emotionally. I was scared and upset and just sad sometimes, and John was getting nervous too but we weren’t doing it together and we learned that the hard way. The only way to get through this process is to lean on one another, laugh together, cry together and most importantly just remind each other everyday that you’ve got each other’s back.

I know, I know, I said I would keep it short. So, one last thing.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THAT A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE SAID TO ME WAS : IT’S OKAY TO BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIENDS WHEN YOU FIND OUT THEY ARE PREGNANT BUT IT’S ALSO OKAY TO FEEL SAD AND STRUGGLE AT THE SAME TIME.

So to all of my friends and readers out there struggling with infertility, it is okay to want to close out instagram every time you see a new pregnancy announcement. It’s okay to comment “CONGRATS! So happy for you!” but at the same time feel like bursting into tears. Let yourself feel both emotions. I am so excited for the day I can finally share that I am pregnant. I know that will no doubt trigger others, but at the same time, I hope that it will give hope. Because even when those announcements are sometimes unbearable, the IVF success stories give me hope. And that is the reason I decided from the beginning to share my journey with you guys. So thanks for being on this adventure with us.